Sick Nora and Caregiver Mila

Nora groaned as they suppressed another full body heave. Mila had brought them an appropriately sized bucket from the town “downstairs” from their floating home, which they were keeping within arm’s reach in case they overflowed again.

The feeling subsided this time.

They focused on the seemingly endless sheaf of papers on Mila’s bed next to them. It was a small comfort that, when set down on a bed big enough for their skyscraper-tall girlfriend, the papers seemed infinitesimally small, as Nora was sure they or any human would look perched up here. But no matter how many papers they filled out, there were always more waiting for them, and no amount of progress seemed to reduce the height of the sheaf.

A soft wind passed all around Nora, an exhaled breath from Mila. Immediately they scrambled to grab the papers, to prevent these from being blown away, but the shadow of Mila’s hand came down almost immediately. Two of her fingers pressed down on the scattered, messy pile of completed forms behind Nora, while her thumb set itself on the sheaf in front of Nora. This left Nora square between Mila’s fingers lightly curled fingers.

“Mihije,” murmured Mila. Her face furrowed in worry. “It’s alright. You don’t need to finish today. Rest when you’re sick.”

Nora waved her off. “The sooner we escape from the shadow of this mess, the faster.” They sighed loudly. “I can’t believe the municipality has a procedure for ‘floating housing.’ ¡Vivienda flotante!”

Predictably, Mila smiled at Nora’s show of emotion. But though they hoped this meant Mila had been distracted, they were proven wrong as soon as Mila nudged them gently with her knuckle.

“Vamos,” said Mila, and she had such a soft expression that Nora nearly melted. “You know what’s best when you’re sick. Sicktime cuddles. You can come back to this once you’re feeling better.” Mila drummed her fingers on the bed next to Nora for emphasis.

And they wanted nothing more than to snuggle under those fingers. To concede and let Mila carry them away. They bit their lip.

“Please, Nora,” she pleaded. “If not for yourself, do it for me. You’ve been so busy getting the permits ready for this place, we’ve hardly seen each other. I miss you.”

Nora felt a heavy pit in their gut. “I miss you, too, Mila—”

But the sensation in their stomach wasn’t guilt, they realized. They snatched the bucket as fast as they could, in vain. Their body convulsed as they expelled a spray of the chicken soup Mila had prepared, onto themselves and the bed.

“Mierda.” Nora grabbed a dry fistful of blanket and started to wipe themselves.

“You’re not seriously going to keep working after that,” said Mila, monotone.

Nora took a breath. “I hear you, I really do. But we can cuddle all day after this is complete, and I—we won’t have to be worrying about what needs to get done later.”

Mila’s face set. “No,” she said quietly.

“Mila?”

Fingers as big as Nora pinched them around the middle. She moved them slowly, by such small degrees, lifting them up from the bed and placing them gently on the palm of her other hand.

“Mila!” shouted Nora as they struggled to free themselves.

It was as pointless as the missed bucket. Mila didn’t squeeze, didn’t exert any more pressure than she needed. But there was no talking back to the strength of that titan. They weren’t moving anywhere until she decided to let them go.

“You can deal with being a little worried until tomorrow,” said Mila seriously. “Terque. Let’s go. Bath time, then cuddle time.”

Nora felt some of their will to fight slip away. Mila had taken the word terco/a, stubborn, and made it gender neutral.

“I’m clean enough,” they said, their arms wrapping around and sinking into Mila’s grip. “I’m fine, for now.”

Mila chuckled as she stood up, as always, at a glacial pace, to avoid making Nora uncomfortable. The world rose around them by tiny increments. Mila’s consideration was a blessing and a curse, in its own way. If she were more brusque, she would have arrived at the kitchen much sooner. Instead, Nora shifted awkwardly in Mila’s grip for minutes upon minutes upon minutes, until she set them on a dish towel over the counter.

It would always make Nora marvel, just how many giant-sized objects Mila had obtained for the giant-sized home on the floating island they had acquired for their home, just above the town where Nora had grown up and Mila had lived during her adolescence.

In just a moment, Mila placed a tea cup, steam blowing off its rim, in front of Nora. Mila picked them up again. She peeled their clothes off layer by layer, pinching the edge of the fabric between her short fingernails.

“You’re going to let me know how this feels, okay?” she said as she held Nora just above the cup. If they stretched their foot, it would graze the surface of the hot water within. “Speak up if it’s too hot. I have some cold water in an eyedropper over here, and we’ll just keep adjusting until it’s warm but not burning.”

Nora rested their elbow on Mila’s thumb under them, so they could lean their face against their palm in exasperation. “Mila, this is really sweet, and I appreciate it, but either get this over with already or let me go back to work.”

Mila huffed, her fingers twitching. If it were anybody else, Nora would expect to be unceremoniously dropped into the cup for their sass. But true to form, Mila didn’t have it in her. She lowered Nora, bit by bit, until their toes touched the water.

“Mmm,” said Nora reluctantly. They scrunched up their foot, recoiling from the heat. “Well, I. I guess it is a little. A little too hot.”

“Ah-ha, too hot, is it?” Mila smirked down at them.

Nora could have cut the smugness radiating off her with a knife. They focused instead on Mila’s other hand, as it squeezed a few drops from the eyedropper, into the cup.

“Okay. Let me know how it is now.”

Nora stretched and tested. “…It’s good. Comfortable now.” They gave one last inquiring look at Mila. “You’re really not letting me go back to work today, are you?”

Mila brought her face down, till her cheek pressed against Nora’s whole body. “Nope. I’m afraid you’re stuck.” She paused, brow furrowed in genuine discomfort. “I am sorry, by the way. I… I hate to force you like this. I feel like such a bully.”

“Well, if you hate to do it, you could just. Not do it. Let me go back.”

Mila turned her head, just enough to plant a full body kiss on Nora. “Nice try, but still nope.”

There were worse fates, Nora mused, than being gently dipped into a hot bath by one’s giant girlfriend, then scrubbed clean of two nights’ sickness by Mila’s gentle attentions, suffused in the fruity-smelling soap she preferred. They were toweled off by a cotton-soft fabric, different from the dish towel they had been sitting on, before Mila left to retrieve some of Nora’s clothes. In keeping with her earlier threat, she only brought pajamas.

#

Mila expected Nora to be more combative, but ever since she picked them up, their heart didn’t seem to be in it. Their grip was weak when trying to pry her fingers off, instead quick to sink into her grip.

Mila sighed as she took the papers off her bed, pinched between two fingers, and deposited them on her nightstand. At her size, it was like picking up hairs. Tedious, but she made sure to gather everything. The last thing she wanted was to lose something and Nora to have more trouble later.

She kept Nora all the while cradled in the crook of her neck with her other hand. Even now, she could feel them snuggling into her palm.

Terque. Terque till the very end. They must have been so exhausted.

She rubbed Nora’s head with her thumb, and promptly felt the soft pressure of them nuzzling back. It was adorable enough to melt her heart as she slid under the covers on her bed. Mila adjusted Nora, further down, so they rested just over her chest. Just far enough down that Mila could look at them.

They felt so warm, their eyes bloodshot. Mila cursed mentally; she should have intervened much sooner.

The feeling of Nora’s tiny fingers pressing into her chest brought her attention back.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Mila.”

Mila blinked as she recalled something Nora had said. We won’t have to be worrying about what needs to get done later.

Apologies from Nora had been a rarity, before their time apart. Less so after their reunion, when Nora closed the divide between them with a number of heartfelt self-recriminations. And always with a certain stuttering discomfort. Like fear. Like walking on unfamiliar ground.

She smiled down at them. “What are you apologizing for?”

There was a pause, during which Mila fully sunk into her bed. She tilted her head to keep watch on her charge.

“For worrying you,” said Nora, at length. “I should have…” Their voice trailed off. They met her gaze, pleading quietly.

“I suspect something,” said Mila. “Can I ask?”

She felt them nod into her palm.

“You’re stressed,” she said, and then her own voice dropped to a whisper, unsure. “Maybe even scared?”

But again, Nora nodded in the ridges of Mila’s hand.

“Why, mihije?”

This time, the answer came immediately, though she needed to lower her head to fully hear it. “I don’t want you to leave.”

Mila passed her thumb over Nora. “Leave? We’ve just come together again. I’ve missed you so, so much. I’m not about to leave. Why are you scared about that?”

Nora squeezed handfuls of her skin. “I don’t even know why you’re still here.”

Oh, Nora. She wished she could press them past her chest, right into her heart.

“What if it’s too hard? All this process, just so you can live somewhere big enough to let you can be you. If I were you, I’d be frustrated.”

Their hands opened and closed again, almost as if testing, applying no pressure this time.

“And I wouldn’t take on that frustration, just to be with me. I have to be good enough, and. I know I’m not.”

“Nora.” Mila exhaled.

“That’s why, I’m sorry,” Nora said.

She felt as if she’d been punched at the realization, at the rush of memories. Mila had known Nora’s father for a handful of years in her adolescence, the same handful during which she’d met Nora. Long enough for her to decide she’d give her life for the haggard little human resting in her hand right now, brief enough for her to purge and claw out Galván’s vast amounts of bullshit from active consideration.

Nora, on the other hand, had spent all the years before meeting her seeking his approval, and to her understanding, a good chunk of years after their split as well.